Child Protection and Social Service agencies take a strong stand on child abuse. But loop holes and anonymous reporting has made these agencies a tactical weapon of non-custodial parents, retaliation seeking ex spouses, and even stalkers.
Hard lessons are often learned early in life. As a child of the 60's, growing up in the 70's was a wild ride. My family experienced, as often many do, the attempts by family members seeking retaliation over my parents divorce. They harassed my family by abusing the local Department of Social Services by using them to make anonymous reports against my custodial parent. More than 30 years later it is still strong in my memory.
What to Expect When They Knock at the Door
As with most departments in the business of child protection, investigators and case workers fall under the exclusionary rule for warrants. Investigators, case workers and law enforcement is able to walk through your home, with or without your consent. And a refusal to co-operate considered suspicious. Created for the safety and well-being of children, but all too often, used as a smoking gun to harass custodial parents. Each and every state has some form of a Child Protection Agency.
How Do People Get Away With False Reporting?
Most children under school age, are usually only familiar with family members and neighbors. To make sure that suspected abuse is more likely reported, many states allow anonymous reports. Making reporting suspected abuse more likely by family members or those close to them. Some would like to think that the only reports to Children's Protective Agencies are on solid evidence of abuse. This is not so. Often, out of retaliation, family members, non-custodial parents,friends, and even others who have experienced a nasty divorce will become involved. It only takes the ranting of one person, over heard by another to have a quarter dropped into a pay phone. Non-custodial parents have actually asked others to call and file complaints, because they are angry about custody arrangements, child support orders or a nasty divorce. And even stalkers have filed false reports.
How to React
I experienced this first hand, as a child and as divorcing adult. I did learn a few lessons along the way, though.
* First, do not go on the defense. Do not take the actions of the investigator, case worker or officer as personal. Chances are you do not know them, because if you did, any relationship would be seen as a conflict of interest.
* Second, do not refuse their request. They work under the exclusionary laws requiring a warrant.
* Third, ask if you may get your child or gather your children together. And that they stay with you. Ask the officer, investigator or case worker where they would like you to stay, with your child or children while they do what they have to do.
Stay calm and answer their questions.
Do not make any phone calls, leave the house or create a scene. You might find yourself behind bars if you do.
Prepare yourself to answer questions about how you wash the children's clothes and about the children's bathing.
* When is over then request a full report, even if nothing is found. Request that the names of all of agency workers or officers be on the report. Request a full copy of the report, regardless of findings. Insist, that a complete report be written, filed and a copy provided to you as the law requires.
Stop Them In Their Tracks
Keep your house clean: there is no need to worry over a little clutter or disorganization.. But the basics need taking care of, regularly. Cut down on the amount of work, by doing a sort of spring cleaning. Remove, throw away or give away any and all toys not needed or out grown. The same with clothes, kitchen items not used, and toxic items. Use it or lose it.
Learn your state or local laws about child welfare. Know how many children should occupy a bedroom. A bedroom in most states requires it have a closet. Each child should have their own sleeping space or bed. And kept clean, with sheets and a blanket for cold weather. Bedrooms need a heat source in nearly every state. But not air-conditioning. Most states allow children of the opposite sex to share a room, but only until school age. And most states allow the same-sex children to share a room, but only until certain ages. The bedrooms should have their personal belongings, toys and clothing.
The bath room cabinets can not store toxic materials or tools. Like medications, these need out of reach storage. And clearly labeled, even if it is just with a Sharpie Black or Red marker. Some states expect adequate soap, shampoo, tooth paste, tooth brushes and toilet paper for the family. Diapers for babies, and under garments for toddlers and older children.
Groceries and food, has different expectations, depending on the state. At least a week's worth of groceries in some states, others only a day. Learn your states guide line. But if you are afraid that your cabinets are low, consider a trick my mother used. Open cans from the bottom, once rinsed, they can go back in the cabinets. The same with cereal boxes. Just keep them behind the full or new cans and boxes. Making them less noticeable.
You can learn more about your state guide lines and laws by visiting:
https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/laws-policies/statutes/resources/
Hard lessons are often learned early in life. As a child of the 60's, growing up in the 70's was a wild ride. My family experienced, as often many do, the attempts by family members seeking retaliation over my parents divorce. They harassed my family by abusing the local Department of Social Services by using them to make anonymous reports against my custodial parent. More than 30 years later it is still strong in my memory.
What to Expect When They Knock at the Door
As with most departments in the business of child protection, investigators and case workers fall under the exclusionary rule for warrants. Investigators, case workers and law enforcement is able to walk through your home, with or without your consent. And a refusal to co-operate considered suspicious. Created for the safety and well-being of children, but all too often, used as a smoking gun to harass custodial parents. Each and every state has some form of a Child Protection Agency.
How Do People Get Away With False Reporting?
Most children under school age, are usually only familiar with family members and neighbors. To make sure that suspected abuse is more likely reported, many states allow anonymous reports. Making reporting suspected abuse more likely by family members or those close to them. Some would like to think that the only reports to Children's Protective Agencies are on solid evidence of abuse. This is not so. Often, out of retaliation, family members, non-custodial parents,friends, and even others who have experienced a nasty divorce will become involved. It only takes the ranting of one person, over heard by another to have a quarter dropped into a pay phone. Non-custodial parents have actually asked others to call and file complaints, because they are angry about custody arrangements, child support orders or a nasty divorce. And even stalkers have filed false reports.
How to React
I experienced this first hand, as a child and as divorcing adult. I did learn a few lessons along the way, though.
* First, do not go on the defense. Do not take the actions of the investigator, case worker or officer as personal. Chances are you do not know them, because if you did, any relationship would be seen as a conflict of interest.
* Second, do not refuse their request. They work under the exclusionary laws requiring a warrant.
* Third, ask if you may get your child or gather your children together. And that they stay with you. Ask the officer, investigator or case worker where they would like you to stay, with your child or children while they do what they have to do.
Stay calm and answer their questions.
Do not make any phone calls, leave the house or create a scene. You might find yourself behind bars if you do.
Prepare yourself to answer questions about how you wash the children's clothes and about the children's bathing.
* When is over then request a full report, even if nothing is found. Request that the names of all of agency workers or officers be on the report. Request a full copy of the report, regardless of findings. Insist, that a complete report be written, filed and a copy provided to you as the law requires.
Stop Them In Their Tracks
Keep your house clean: there is no need to worry over a little clutter or disorganization.. But the basics need taking care of, regularly. Cut down on the amount of work, by doing a sort of spring cleaning. Remove, throw away or give away any and all toys not needed or out grown. The same with clothes, kitchen items not used, and toxic items. Use it or lose it.
Learn your state or local laws about child welfare. Know how many children should occupy a bedroom. A bedroom in most states requires it have a closet. Each child should have their own sleeping space or bed. And kept clean, with sheets and a blanket for cold weather. Bedrooms need a heat source in nearly every state. But not air-conditioning. Most states allow children of the opposite sex to share a room, but only until school age. And most states allow the same-sex children to share a room, but only until certain ages. The bedrooms should have their personal belongings, toys and clothing.
The bath room cabinets can not store toxic materials or tools. Like medications, these need out of reach storage. And clearly labeled, even if it is just with a Sharpie Black or Red marker. Some states expect adequate soap, shampoo, tooth paste, tooth brushes and toilet paper for the family. Diapers for babies, and under garments for toddlers and older children.
Groceries and food, has different expectations, depending on the state. At least a week's worth of groceries in some states, others only a day. Learn your states guide line. But if you are afraid that your cabinets are low, consider a trick my mother used. Open cans from the bottom, once rinsed, they can go back in the cabinets. The same with cereal boxes. Just keep them behind the full or new cans and boxes. Making them less noticeable.
You can learn more about your state guide lines and laws by visiting:
https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/laws-policies/statutes/resources/
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